Oct 23, 2013 at 06:53 PM
Oh sweet baby eight pound Jesus... my belly hurts just watching this.
Craig, Yang, Erika, me... who else have we got?
Fondos, Fundos, Charity, Donut and other organized rides
Oct 23, 2013 at 06:54 PM
The groaning... the burping... oh lord...
Oct 23, 2013 at 07:25 PM
It's beautiful isn't it? Here is a "commercial" for this year's race.
http://youtu.be/59FyxjmmeMQ
Some will be decorating their bikes for the race.
We need to talk strategy. I'm thinking no donuts for the first time by the donut station. Need to get a gap on the field (and a few times up the hill without donuts) before turning the stomach afterburners on.
http://youtu.be/59FyxjmmeMQSome will be decorating their bikes for the race.
We need to talk strategy. I'm thinking no donuts for the first time by the donut station. Need to get a gap on the field (and a few times up the hill without donuts) before turning the stomach afterburners on.
Oct 23, 2013 at 07:27 PM
I think full gas for 6 laps, then stop and cram in as many as we can possibly eat, then stuggle to keep it all down for the finale...We need to talk strategy. I'm thinking no donuts for the first time by the donut station. Need to get a gap on the field (and a few times up the hill without donuts) before turning the stomach afterburners on.
Oct 23, 2013 at 07:50 PM
I'm registered! Although, unfortunately, wont be able to attend the BBQ. Thank you for the offer, Craig.
Dirt will be new for me. I'm debating tires and pressure... Should I run them a little low? Should I switch out my Vittoria Zaffiro Pros for my Gator Skins? Both are 23s.
The woman who came in 1st ate zero donuts. She also had a nearly 25 minute lead on 2nd, who ate 12 donuts (so I suppose that was actually a nearly 50 minute lead). She's also Silke Wunderwald. My strategy will combine her speed with 2nd place's feed.
Dozen or bust!
Oct 23, 2013 at 07:52 PM
The dirt is uphill so I don't think it should be an issue for you, especially since you are light. I'm going to leave my training wheels on because I'm lazy, and I don't want to be "that guy" showing up for the donut derby with deep dish tubulars...
Oct 23, 2013 at 08:08 PM
Erika makes a good point with the Silke reference. There will likely be some current or former pros or neo-pros at the race. For instance, I would not be surprised to see Ben Wolfe (Jelly Belly) and Paul Lynch (BMC Devo).
Oct 23, 2013 at 08:09 PM
Thanks Jules. I'm also lazy and wasn't looking forward to changing my tires. That time could be better spent doing water chugging stomach expansion exercises.
On a related note, my wife (who is not a bike racer, but is a donut eater) suggested we steer clear of cake donuts and go for the yeast. More moist, less dense, and will slide down the gullet faster.
Oct 23, 2013 at 08:13 PM
glazed donuts are your friend. light and fluffy.
Oct 23, 2013 at 08:27 PM
@Yang, where are you man? This thread is SCREAMING for some Simpsons mockery. Or do we have a #yangdown?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJMfbrFEric
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJMfbrFEric
Oct 23, 2013 at 09:41 PM
Oh man I just got back from a 3 day conference preceded by a week of 14-16hr work days on top of the cracked ribs and no riding. Deciding whether to leave the house at all this weekend.
Will let you all know if I'm driving up, which means I can take a few riders, bikes and gear with me.
Will let you all know if I'm driving up, which means I can take a few riders, bikes and gear with me.
Oct 23, 2013 at 11:15 PM
Donuts! But back to The Plan... was thinking of doing a TTT for as much of it as we can, then stopping at the last lap to eat like crazed vikings... but wondering; should we plunder all the easily digestable ones early and leave our competitors to struggle with a dozen Boston Cremes...?
@Yang there is no better comeback training that intervals with donuts. I read it in a book. #truth
Oct 23, 2013 at 11:32 PM
Oct 23, 2013 at 11:43 PM
Training donuts?!? Pure Genius. Brb...
Oct 24, 2013 at 12:24 AM
I'll be doing openers on Friday morning if anyone wants to join.
It'll consist of riding a citibike over to Dough in Bed-Stuy and inhaling a poppy glazed and a hibiscus glazed...
Jules - I'm with you on the 5 or 6 lap ttt effort and then inhalation of donuts. I think we'll be fine with whatever is left. You'll note in the video that he got a glazed on lap 7.
Oct 24, 2013 at 10:14 AM
FWIW, the dude who won the Donut Derby in the Emaus, PA area a few months back, was not only a strong rider, but employed some of those disgusting competitive eating techniques that absolutely take the joy out of eating a good doughnut.
PS the best classic doughnuts I've had in a while come from a location not too far away from the NBX CX race in early December.
https://www.facebook.com/AlliesDonuts
#AsIfYouNeedAnotherReasonForGoingToOneOfTheBestRacesOfTheSeason
PS the best classic doughnuts I've had in a while come from a location not too far away from the NBX CX race in early December.
https://www.facebook.com/AlliesDonuts
#AsIfYouNeedAnotherReasonForGoingToOneOfTheBestRacesOfTheSeason
Oct 24, 2013 at 06:23 PM
Lessons learned from the training donuts:
- Take lots of small bites so you don't have to chew much. I nearly choked on the huge bite I took of the first donut.
- After the initial bite, unroll the donut ring into donut line. It's much easier shape to eat (and much more aero).
- The glazed donut was drier than expected. I might alternate between glazed yeast and frosted yeast, hoping the frosting helps the dough go down.
- The donuts were much heavier than expected. 120g for the two. Eating a dozen might be too ambitious.
I also might fill my extra bottle with coffee. Just for deliciousness.
Oct 24, 2013 at 08:26 PM
I started to get excited about this race, then I realized how far away it was.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1dnqKGuezoMaybe I'll just ride to Nyack, get some donuts and ride home.
Oct 24, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Dude. Do-nuts. Nuff said, right?
@Erika's "donut line" may prove to be our secret race-winning strategy. "Eat your line, rookie!"
@Erika's "donut line" may prove to be our secret race-winning strategy. "Eat your line, rookie!"
Oct 25, 2013 at 09:31 PM
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Oct 25, 2013 at 09:39 PM
@Gwynna - thanks. We're all counting donuts.
Oct 25, 2013 at 10:01 PM
Wait wait wait... just got the pre-race announcement email about "buying time." $25 for a 3 minute subtraction, no donut eating required. What kind of fat cat donut eating competition is this?! This totally explains the relationship between economic inequality and the prevalence of type 2 diabetes amongst competitive cyclists.
Oct 25, 2013 at 10:13 PM
What the what?!? Im going to save my scorn for tomorrow after the race.
Oct 25, 2013 at 11:28 PM
Probably a request from fancy folks who wouldn't dare shove any donut less than this http://www.donutformilliondollars.com into their faces.
Oct 25, 2013 at 11:46 PM
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Oct 26, 2013 at 05:01 PM
@Erika crushed all.
Timing was courtesy of a one eyed hobo, an empty law chair and a garden gnome. They missed our finishing time and awarded the belt to a seven foot tall woman who was a lap and two donuts behind us.
Oh, and there was a bike throw at the line. No lie.
Timing was courtesy of a one eyed hobo, an empty law chair and a garden gnome. They missed our finishing time and awarded the belt to a seven foot tall woman who was a lap and two donuts behind us.
Oh, and there was a bike throw at the line. No lie.
Oct 26, 2013 at 06:36 PM
@Erika crushed it. Jules dismounted on the hill to avoid 2 fallen riders and then did a cross remount. I was miserable but waited on Jules and Erika at the top of the hill on their final lap to set up the KCC lead out train for Erika. Which actual got a comment from another female on course about our teamwork.
There was also donut eating.
Oct 27, 2013 at 12:33 AM
What can I say? Jules is a beast! Major kudos for giving me his wheel for the entire race, lugging my oddly heavy water bottle, offering some top notch coaching on the gnarly dirt hill, donut handups, post-race medical support, and results outrage (totally warranted after waiting around for 3 hours). And to Craig as well, who joined us for a harrowing final lap that included a near collision between half a dozen riders and two cars at the bottom of a decent with less than a mile to go.
The KCC lead out train got me ahead of Silke (who was probably on her cool down lap) and then it was just me and a woman in pink compression socks (who totally didn't stop for donuts) gunning for the finish. And there was, indeed, a bike throw. I was that person at the donut ride. But the finish was so crowded with lapped eaters and spectators, the low-speed throw was much safer than a sprint. And my wheel totally crossed before Pink Socks (who complimented our teamwork), but who knows where the one eyed hobo was looking when that happened.
Uncontested victory will need to wait for next year. Fingers crossed they'll start offering sprinkle leader's jerseys. Oh, and that they invest in a clock and camera.
Final donut count:
1 pumpkin yeast
1 strawberry yeast
1 maple yeast
1 blueberry cake
3 munchkins
Oct 27, 2013 at 01:27 AM
There was FROST on the ground this morning. We quietly debated eating strategies while worrying about fingers & toes freezing off, and looked on in awe at the carbon wheels (some dude seriously rocked the 808's to this), tri bars, and sundry prizes of Fred-dom as they milled at the start line. There was even a fella with two - count 'em two - sleeves of shot blocks tucked into his pant legs - you know, in case he BONKED on the three mile course between donuts...
We decided that @Erika had the best shot at a win so we'd work for her. We marked Silke and set off - almost immediately after the start/finish/donut-place there is a steep, nasty dirt climb. We blasted into it and a pair of guys more or less FELL OVER SIDEWAYS because it was so steep or they were so... how do you say nicely... tired. I unclipped and looked over to see @Craig had remained upright and @Erika was on the other side of the road in the same boat as me. Undeterred we rallied and although the lead group of guys was escaping we settled in knowing that it was Silken we had to watch.
@Erika stuck to me like funny on a clown and we rocked around and around trying different donut ingestion formats; surprisingly the easy-to-stuff varieties of Pink Sprinkles, Chocolate Frosting, and Maple (Maple baby! Long live Canadia!) were all hard to chew on account of the coldiness and we struggled to chew/stuff/swallow/chomp them into submission.
Midway through the race (I'd just gorfed a nice Chocolate Frosted) @Erika pointed out her bloody right hand.
"What the What?!?!" we both exclaimed? She'd been eating donuts so damn fast that apparently part of her hand had broken the sound barrier and the Vapor Cone had somehow torn all the skin off her hand, or so it seemed. There was, to put it mildly, a lot of blood.
Hoogerland has nothing on @Erika; she fashioned a tourniquet out of a toe strap and some used innertube and we continued, alarming the various Freds on tri-bars that we passed (you bet that happened) with her gruesome mitten.
Before long it was the bell lap and we closed in on Mrs. Pink Socks, who was cracking hard on the final steep hill. We connected with @Craig at the top (he'd taken his "mechanical" and decided to rejoin) where we tucked @Erika out of the wind and took turns attacking Pink Socks.
Just when we though we'd dropped her for good two SUV's pulled out of the race parking area and onto the road ahead; we slowed, Pink Socks caught back on and with her a comet trail of suicidal Freds on high-end carbon, and - avast! - Silke.
One particularly stupid fellow jumped ahead, tried to duck around the SUV into oncoming traffic and nearly did his best T.J. Hooker impersonation. Instead, he locked it all up, smoked his wheels, and scared the holy hell out of all of us.
We regrouped in time for a jumbled leadout where @Erika beat both Silke and Pink Socks with a bike throw. That's Killer Instinct, Holmes.
Very upsetting about the one-eyed hobo routine; they awarded first place on a route with a 20% climb to a 240-pound woman who'd eaten 2 donuts instead of to @Erika who ate 4+... oh well.
I find it hard to be too pissed, but seriously; if you can't keep track of who wins (forget 2, 3, 4 and on) why even call it a "race?" How about "all you can eat donut fondo" and be done with it?
Overall it's an amazing course; I'd recommend sending as many pairs of new & experienced racers out there as possible; the mass-start means you have a great opportunity to ride hard over all kinds of interesting terrain over and over again.
Plus donuts.
Special thanks to the spouses who made it possible today.
Oct 28, 2013 at 06:31 PM
(Chomp)
