someone has way...waaay too much time on their hands

Woah! That might be the coolest gif ever. It's hypnotic actually. I can't stop staring at it...

Yacks just wait till I find a photo of you buddy.

No words. Thought I'd seen the end of the fugly jersey.

I slept through my alarm, sorry for missing out on the festivities :-(

Wait. Is that taken from www.johnmalcolmsonvietcongbikerace.com?
Pure genius Joe.

You might also enjoy: http://selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com/
and http://beaarthurmountainspizza.tumblr.com/

Time for a beer. Cheers!

Thanks John, I'm a big fan of selleck waterfall sandwich!

But in all seriousness we should get some race reports up for today. I'm putting my together as well. What can we work on? What did we get right?

J

I'll venture to say that I kinda sucked. Stayed on the front all day to shut down breaks as we were going for the sprints and KOM, but when it came to actually helping lead those out, I was a bit lost communicatively. I couldn't see where people were behind me. My bad.

All in all, I think it was pretty decent though. Joe did well in KOM, Patrick got 6th, but really, malcomson can hold a hard/high enough power that there's no reason if we're organized, we can't get him to the front a little better. He can seriously ride all but maybe 5 other guys off his wheel. And unlike the other pure sprinters, he can hold his effort much longer. We should try to launch him a bit early in the future. No?

Today's race was a probably one of the scariest races I've ever seen. My wheel was struck by a clipped cone and then I bunny hopped another mid pack to stay upright, not cool. All topped off by the crash in the bunch sprint.

As for the things we could have improved on today I feel if we can get more people in the top 10 for the final sprint and control things a little more and perhaps keep things a little safer if we stretch out the field.

As for the KOM sprints we can beat hudson but we will have to use a little more strategy perhaps make Nick burn a match right before the bottom of the hill so I can get around him.

Congratulations Patrick, good work on the 6th place way to duke it out with all of the craziness going on today.

Patrick got 6th and Joe kept the KOM?!?! Nice work guys.

The Most Frustrating Race Ever: A report:

AKA: How Perlberg Lost the yellow and KOM jersey in consecutive weeks (but picked up 3 points in the green jersey competition WTF).
AKA: UGGGGGHHHHH How did that break not work?!?!?!??!

From what I could see it started pretty mellow, but evidently according to Mark we were moving. Myles ordered me to stay out of the wind like a viper waiting to strike or something, so I did. Actually, at some point I thought I was getting to close to the front so I eased up - at this exact point Myles sees me coasting and moving backwards on the downhill in the wind and scolds me. Hah, oh well. I do need to be better at staying tucked in.

Before the first KOM this is a big field split and we have no representation in it. FUCK. 1 Lap to KOM. The dudes are working their ass off to close the gap. I'm sitting there like a jackass not knowing what to do - help chase, try to bridge, etc. I ask Myles but he is too busy killing himself for me to answer (until after the race). I watch a few people bride but I'm not ready to react, sitting on Myles's wheel like a jackass. We are closing on the field split toward the hill and I try to bridge, but I pretty much drag the group and can barely hang on once it all come back together. First KOM - 0 points. This hurt more than anything I have ever experienced in my life. Really. Bad.

Shortly thereafter Jan attacks and has a small group working off the front. After a few laps it gets pulled back.

I sense KOM is coming soon. I must like this fugly jersey because I can just sense it. I ask Joaquin to pull me up towards the front and he does an excellent job. Amazing. We get the bell, 1 lap til KOM. I'm sitting top 10. Joaquin covers a champion system guy taking a flyer, and I Have Eric, Myles, JP, and other leading me out. They absolutely shred the field. Shit is strung out. Am I making this sound too dramatic? That is how it seemed to me. As planned, Eric lets me off in the perfect spot. I'm in the lead coming up the hill and I can feel a group breathing down my neck. The fly by - I get 4th at the line. F-WORD.

No time to recover. A break is forming. What? Really? I'm dying.

2 guys are a bit ahead and I gather everything I have to get to them. The break gets together and starts working. I take stock on the situation. 3 guys from Somerville Bike shop - matching kits and matching Treks - all seem to be Spanish speakers. The guy from Metra who is built like a tank. A Mengoni guy (Agusto Sanchez - he got 5 points and took my KOM jersey) and Stalin Quintero of James Vincent Racing. We work together well. I am DYING. almost getting dropped on the climbs and having to skip pulls. Holly shit this is hard. I work when I can but am careful- this is the winning break. I am convinced, dedicated, and sold on it. I even start thinking about how to get the best placing possible.

We get to the green jersey points and I'm worried the break is going to fall apart when people start fighting, it is my turn to pull so I lead it out but nobody goes for it. 3 points. what? cool.

We keep rolling. Metra dude rolls up next to me and says "nice job - these DUDES ARE ON SOMETHING." hah. Well it sure felt like it, but it was my first break in a 110 rider PRO123 field so I figure maybe this is how bad it hurts.

Bottom of the downhill with 2.25 to go. Somerville guy attacks. What? why? Mengoni goes with him. Metra and I try to keep pulling - 2 other Somerville guys won't pull and neither will Stalin. We are going SOOOO slow between the bottom of the hill and the top of the hill when we are eventually are caught.

I sit in the pack and finish.

I'm kinda frustrated at how DUMB those moves were. Maybe someone can fill me in here but here is how I see it:

1) Sommerivlle - 3 guys in the top 7? Why not take it? we can't even tell you apart let alone know if someone is sitting in and not working. You have the odds to play to win this thing.

2) Mengoni - you went with his move so I have no complaints - with I was that strong

3) Metra - I like this dude

4) Stalin - whatever, I'm surprised you were working in the first place.

I guess the toughest part about it is that the dudes worked their ass off for me. I got in the right move. It fell apart for no discernibly good reason.

The end results - of the 7 in the break - 1 placed in the field sprint after we were caught - JV guy stalin got 6th.

I was about as riled up as I could get. I don't really get riled up easily. It was just so stupid. It was such simple math and odds. Everyone in the break should have wanted the break to succeed - especially after expending the effort to get in it and work.

Ok, I'm over it and moving on. PHEW. used my groupon (1 of 3) at the Brazen Head on a few glasses of:

http://atlantabeermaster.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/lagunitas-undercover.jpg

I highly recommend it. It will help you get over any frustrating race.

Mike (Hope that makes sense that brewskie was 9.7%ABV)

OK back to work... http://spasport.com/lucarelli_&_castaldi_cup_results.htm

- Nice job locking in the team KOM/Joe. That's going to be very hard for anyone to challenge provided we show up to a few more races.

- Great 6th place Patrick—would love to hear how it went down.

RACE REPORT
- Thought I placed higher sprint 1, what happened? 3 places. Meh.

- Sprint 2 to the Aussi McGarity. Yacks bolted and got me some great position until he ran out of groin power (courageous stuff mate!). McGarity's leadout guy kicked and I got gapped going around, managed to get 3rd wheel just as McGarity kicked. He dropped some major power. Thought about trying to come around him, but was distracted by the delicious aroma of King Prawns... and the thought of much oxygen debt. I'll fully go for it next time though. Thanks Yacks for the wheel and encouraging yelling. Green jersey is anyones right now.

- Finish: Particularly hard crash next to me—fetal position, collar bone, snapped Zip's stuff—not good. Saul from BKGorilla wrote off his bike as well. Can't say I went hunting for a lead-out, but seems like most of our guys weren't up for the mass madness. Would be great to hear from others on that. I (foolishly) bet against the NYVelo train—moved off them to a group swarming up the outside. Unfortunately it went backwards pretty quickly and NYV went very forwards. Ended up weaving my way through Alpine Ski style for 12th. New plan: shadow of McGarity.

- Re the launching me/Yacks late idea. I'd be up for practicing that. It's a little trickier than Floyd to take a late flyer. Coming into the finish we're already doing what? 30+mph? Then there''s that last little bump which is a painful little beast. Compare that to Floyd which is pancake flat, the 25 riders left are pretty taxed, it has a nice soul destroying cross wind and sketchy technical corner into the finish. Omri and McGarity & co. are going to be a major pain in the ass to beat and we'll need to outsmart them somehow . I think Yacks and myself lead out by another two could do some damage. Getting 10 lengths clear that would seal it. As I said I would be more than happy to sacrifice to make that happen. But for starters I reckon we need to identify a cluster of Kissena's who are prepared to storm into the front at 450-500m.

lol

tough break, michael

sounds like the K-krew rode their asses off; Chapeau to that!

also, glad you found a sufficiently high-gravity ale to get your mind of that foolishness

those Somerville Bike shop guys are weird. i've been in breaks with them before, and they treat everyone else like we got their sister pregnant then stopped calling

Metra dude - if you're thinking of short, squat Dioslaki - that guy is awesome! he was so nice to me in my first brutal 1,2,3 break, i'll give him respek knuckles 4eva

I'll give you the last first. I ran into Dave Jordan of Jordan Coaching this afternoon. He reflected that whenever there's a headwind riding over the Brooklyn Bridge from Manhattan, Prospect is a hard race. A tailwind on the flats leading to the finish line keeps the pace high. Apparently, there was one this morning.

The race was definitely fast. My finish time was 1:37:22 for 27.0mph, and I rolled in 10-15 seconds behind the leaders. The first half of the race was at 27, as was the second. The first 32 minutes were at 27.2. I think this was the fastest Prospect of the year, but probably not by much over last week's.

Now, if you sat in most of the race, it probably was 3.43w/kg or so for average power. However, if you raced at the front, or alongside me, it was 4.27 w/kg (Normalized Power). And if you were aggressive for the first third of the race, it was 4.46 w/kg (normalized power). (if you know your weight in pounds, divide it by 2.2 to get kg, then take your kg and multiply it by the numbers to see what kind of power it means for someone of your weight).

There were some surprising things in the race. We did a pretty good job setting mike up for the second KoM. Blew the first one, though, by completely missing the split, which happened in drips and drabs and was suddenly almost 20 riders. Angry I missed this. While that number is typically unmanageable, if we didn't go to the front to chase it down in anticipation of the first KoM, I think it could have ridden away from the race. To me, our chase for that lap was the hardest we did of the race.

After Mike got blown out by that bizarro move from the Somerville shop guys--they should have waited until the last lap for such shenanigans--the escapees were chased down. The next moves went nowhere, and with the bell, there was the rare hard attack. It hung out htere and was only caught with a little more than a kilometer to go, thanks largely to Brian Breach. And sure enough, the field sat up. This was a bummer for me, as I had gotten myself to the front before the downhill and managed to sit second or third wheel until we caught the break, at which point, I didn't like the slowing. I usually attack at such a moment, but have been trying to overcome this urge, felt boxed in and sat up; a mistake.

Looking at the placings, kudos goes to John Durso, the race leader, who had zero teammates, went with just about every serious move, save the one Mike made, and still managed third in the field sprint.

And thanks to Marc. Good plan. Wish we could have followed it. But as Tolstoy wrote, the race is out of the generals hands once the soldiers advance on the field.

@John: I can do a leadout, and I can do it harder than anyone on NYVelocity. That's a fact. They burn up Jules, first on their train, waaay too early and make him go waaay too long (he starts before the bandshell!), so we should wait until he's gassed before we make our drive. We just have to make sure we're lined up near the front around the top of the uphill or just after on the bell lap. That means it's best to get to the front on the uphill, so the pain starts early in the lap.

The only interesting part of my race report other than numerous failed break attempts: I "thought" I had a line of Kissenas on my wheel for sprint 2 when I sucked some wind down the downhill, came through the left-hander near the front, took the left side through the potholes by the temple and drilled it past the NYVelocity train like they were going in reverse. Once I passed them approaching the final set of potholes before the left-hand bend by the Irving bust, I looked under my arm, and was surprised to see nobody had my wheel anymore and I had just executed an extremely steady, slow-motion attack and gapped the field by a rather useless 25 feet. Man, I must have looked like a jack-ass.

My race ended when my two-man move that started at 3rd street was caught before the temple. Stopped and helped the crashed guys. Glad to see no Kissenas went down.

Some pics from yesterday:

Jeff O keeping tabs out front:

http://nyvelocity.com/gallery/image/5899?page=13


Not sure how to caption this one...perhaps I thought I was at a fashion shoot?

http://nyvelocity.com/gallery/image/5899?page=0

If you got it, flaunt it, girl!

That hudson guy is skiiiiiiinny.

"Weeee, I'm on the right wheel! Racing is fun!!!"

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291198124_Ch959CT

"Did I forget to turn off the stove at the restaurant last night?"

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291196966_vMnbp4b

"Hey, bitches I don't need no stink'n spring series...look at me cruising along easy-breezy in the fastest PP race of the year."

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291203979_kzMwT5M

Hey, is this John "Former US Pro RR Champ" Eustice?

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291205540_XTpkKwb

Is this Ragot the Ripper Ripp'n Shit up with KOM in tow? (buy and frame this picture)

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291203089_FSBXpQH

Is this JP checking out his family Joules?

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291200605_NszsXJx

Former Kissena Tad gasping for air, current Kissena Myles wondering, "is that all you got?"

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291196318_nLKHRqw

The break that should have won

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291197616_LNzcWnG

The rules of 'roid rage: I will attack you and you and you and you too and...

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291193085_V86qC2x

Send this guy to Vegas. Poker face.

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291202629_qx7pjc9

Keith says, "You can run, but I will chase you down and eat you."

http://www.oneimagingphotography.com/Cyclings/LucarelliCuprace5-14/17052665_Qn22cZ#1291197071_z3mC9TB

some good ones over here too:

http://nyvelocity.com/content/gallery/race-photos/2011/bike-race

setting tempo for the KOM stings a littttleeee bit...

looking good, yacks!

p.s. that GIF is incredible!

OK...I'll bite....what's a GIF?

scroll up to Joe Mueller's post - the animated picture of John Malcolmson shooting down an F4

that is the CAT'S PAJAMA'S!!!!

If you play Ride of the Valkyries while being mesmerized by it, it only grows in amazingness.

@ Jeff W: Deal! Are you out for any Floyd, morning rides this week? Practice?

@ My bitch'n new Lake shoes: You make my bike look like an old stink-pants hobo.

@John: I'll be out tomorrow and Wednesday mornings. Going to do Floyd Thursday night; since Perlberg won't be there, it might hurt less, right?

@Cat4s: What's the jersey strategy? What are we gunning for besides the KOM for Joe? John has a good shot at the green, as does Yack if he gets healthy soon and can regain his sprint form. However, even with our great turnout, it's going to be hard to vie for both jerseys and the race win. On the other hand, committing to the green jersey will also tire the Siggi's/NYVelo train, which might make McGarrity a bit more vulnerable for the finish. What do guys think about series strategy at this point?

[Sorry for the late follow-up]

Big congrats to Patrick for finishing in the money, to Joe for staying in the dots, and to John for being a complete beast and holding his own in the sprints.

I'm just coming off a "rest week" and thought that meant I'd be flying, but honestly the legs just felt like mixed bags of crap and lead during the whole race which left me with a bit of mental funk. The plan for this race was to take part in lead-out duties and work with JM & Yacks during the primes & final sprint.

At first things were OK and I was staying active in the top 15-20 wheels of the race, watching wheels and trying to stay aware of where teammates were, but during the first sprint lap, a rider went pretty early and gapped the field with enough to stay away, sort of neutralizing the sprint. By the time we began chasing in earnest it was too late and clear he was going to stay away.

For number two quite a few folks got confused in the two-fer combined KoM & sprint lap which led to a bit of a botched lead-out, but John followed things well enough to pull out 2nd.

After the second sprint prime and with about 3 laps to go I wasn't feeling so well, had spent too much time in the wind and realized that my bike handling was suffering. Rather than jockey for position and be part of the problem, I moved to the inside of the pack and surfed the back of the race for a while. With a bit more than a lap to go, Joe and I started chatting about getting back up front and picking up John along the way. I was feeling better and thought it sounded like a plan so we started picking our way through the pack on the left side, and almost got back up front, when two riders on another team to our right touched wheels and went down with a dreaded crack of carbon, taking another rider with them.

Things were pretty boxed in at this point as we were squeezed to the left-hand side. Some decided that cheating was worth the risk and shot up the joggers lane for better positioning. Wish I would've had the mind to get their numbers. Not looking to sprint for 15-20th place I soft-pedaled it for a pack finish.

For next time, I'd like to work on better communication during the race about how we're feeling and keeping nearby others so when prime-time comes we're ready to play ball. It was a mistake to move back in the field without telling someone but didn't see anyone on the way to the back to tip off that I was feeling cruddy.

Some more quick thoughts. A lot went wrong this past weekend, but some really good things happened to. Namely, our bitching leadout of Perlberg for KOM #2. Is it burned in your muscle memory? Because I think we just proved that, even in a hard race, with some weak-ass riders named Bertucco, we can get 'er done. I started to move forward with the help of gravity on the descent. Myles had the same thoughts going and I popped onto his wheel. He kept it going past the temple, pulled off and I took over. Cranking it with my head tilted to the left, eyes to my right, I could see some Somerville Bike Shop punk getting antsy and thinking about coming around me. Everytime I felt his doped up breath, I cranked it out a few watts harder to keep him in line, and when I was actually done, I drift to the side and a whole fucking line-up of Kissena's are on my ass ready to continue the train. And then the picture of Ragot making his final push up the hill says it all. It was a good moment for us.

We can do this. Let's not forget how in the fastest PP race of the year, for 1/2 lap, we rode perfectly.

Naturally we need to improve for the other 14 or so laps.

Another thing I want us to think about is what do we do when it becomes clear that our plan A isn't unfolding to script. When our guys are suffering or can't cover their assignments, what do our leaders do? I think what needs to happen is an on-the-fly meeting of the leaders, quickly figure out a more conservative, but active strategy (in a case where, for example, I wasn't able to work/cover early race moves on Saturday). Selectively following moves, but not panicking, and overworking, taking over the jobs that I couldn't do.

You know what I'm driving at? It's almost like, okay, so we don't really have 9 or 11 soldiers to battle with anymore, now we just have 3 or 5, and how are we going to best use our resources?