12:05 bridge up to break to discover CIS's TT'ist is sitting around and people are yelling at one another. someone yells of the people up the road “they’re not going to hold, it’s fine!”

24:58 7 laps to go, sprint lap – but i didn’t notice; 26:08 Bonus: it’s a KOM lap too!

29:30 lesson learned: “pull off” yells jules. Rockstar tells me to signal which way i’m going to pull off. I’m told to pull off to the right next time. sorry!

29:40 - jules hammers.

33:30 KOM launch #1 INCLUDING EPIC BATTLE CRY! this is a must-hear affair! 33:36 is everyone’s new ringtone. yaks’ victory yell: the new Wilhelm scream?

39:00 ay-ay-ron (aaron) in the house!

~46:55 Joe Mueller cameo (sorry joe!)

48:30 Foundation rider asks if we have “about 57, 58” riders in the race. I giggle and admit that’s about right. camera doesn’t capture the GIANT SNOT on his face. maybe i should wear the helmet mount.

51:10 – the most exciting moment of bruce’s morning: someone gratuitously touches his butt. at length. so wrong. butt so right. or left, as the positioning would have it.

54:30 Whitey delivers a cryptic statement: “the train does not have its engine,” but since i didn’t hear the bells i have no idea what he’s talking about.

56:30 yaks notifies me it is KOM time. the news stirs me to action. i now realize what whitey was talking about. embarrassment becomes forward motion.

57:07 THE ASCENT OF YAKS along with some verbal encouragement

58:20 yaks, ever the gentlemen, responds to my mind-the-gap style “on the left” with an equally assertive “don’t hit me” as we swamp him on both sides. sorry! watching it again, we did properly swamp you. jogger’s lane undisturbed, we all rode on.

59:25 - a thousand vans rented without financial assistance from teammates. gloves given out for free.  new tires donated to teammates. it is too high a cost for one man to bear.  cannondale can't even get his fork the right size.  phillip’s rage boils over and channels itself into a blistering broadside attack that attracts a number of ambitious riders.  i rest, knowing that if he wins, he’ll give me something.

1:02:40 after a worrisome amount of pocket-fiddling, i reassure jeff that his pocket looks great. i deserved the finger but received only draft.

1:05:40 – alyosha ButtCam 1.0: an anatomical study.

1:06:35 – holy vibration, batman. level those potholes, DOT! they seem to think that replacing potholes with reverse-potholes of bulging skyward asphalt is acceptable.  it’s not.

1:07:35 – Whitey explains his frustration with a few choice words.  consider as an alternative ringtone to Yaks' victory scream.

1:08:55 – Whitey get his revenge by attacking.

1:09:52 – RKO launches, no one follows. EXCEPT! for a surly kissena. or rather, a van dessel .

1:11:13 Alyosha gets chopped but doesn’t make a big deal about it because there was never a cucumber cooler.

1:12:03 one lap to go, in lovely bass

1:12:20 a van smells of burnt rubber; the peloton laughs. in retrospect, we’re lucky it got out of the way.

1:13:08 Jeff C takes evasive action; rider behind him reacts: “Whoa.”

1:13:54 declaration of the obvious: CIS is blocking for their TT-ist up the road. I can’t decide when to attack and bring him back; don’t want to burn legs for sprint.

1:14:40 DAVID YANG, JEFF CONDON, AND TODD win the race for us. they begin attacking the CIS rider’s gap, and i just draft like an asshole. 

1:15:30 todd comes in and takes over pulling. aggressively.  down the hill. untouchable until the bottom.

1:17:09 a brave few come forward. I begin to try to work backwards onto Foundations’ wheels. I knew that they would lead out Charles. So i let a couple of them go in front of me so that I’d be able to draft. my goal this race was to finish more intelligently than the last and not put myself into the wind too early.

1:17:57 my favorite moment of the race. if you look closely from the footage preceding this point  (1:17:54), you can see that i’m not behind the wheel on the left. i’m trying to be behind BOTH wheels. the rider next to me knows this. i’m leaning towards him but not on him; i’m pedaling in really awkward semi-sideways manner, trying to occupy more space on my right side than my body needs. this man, who the race results tell me is Carl Nelson, is simply a badass.  he is more than twice my age.  in fact, he is 2.269230769230769 times my age. but he’s right in there at the finish, ready to hand my ass to me like he has in every other 4 race.  just listen to him call me out. “I’m on this wheel right here. Get on yours.” spoken like someone who knows what’s going on.

1:18:11 i know the leadout train is upon us and i’m just trying to go as fast as i can for as long as possible without gassing. some shifting to make sure i’m not working too hard.

1:18:40 it looks like i succeeded in getting between the two wheels in front of me, and not just behind the one on the left; maybe Carl moved back?

1:18:50 a little gap goes, some ratchet action, meaning someone isn’t pedaling. something needs to happen. i wait for Charles to pull in front of me because we’re still too far out to sprint

1:19:02 – we pass the CIS breakaway guy. respectably close to the finish. he’s strong

1:19:05 i launch at the crosswalk.  don’t know why i launched there.  i think because the guy in front of me sat up, which is the cycling equivalent of throwing down the gauntlet.

this morning was a tremendous team experience. despite the foundation rider’s harsh words for our large team, i quite enjoy feeling a part of something.  thanks, kissena.  i hope everyone at konditoroiansldnas’doriun enjoyed the muffins!  (i sent the winnings minus $5 to you with dstokes).  i couldn't make it due to apartment searching.  if you know anyone with a one-bedroom in washington heights, available aug 1, send them my way...