Feb 07, 2025 at 01:46 PM
Fair play.Mark Taylor said:Its Called "what about Bob " , not "what about Dr Leo Marvin "
Sandbox - Trash Talk, Tall Tales & Flotsam... It's a mess in here!
Feb 07, 2025 at 08:33 PM
+1David Yang said:
Also my hot take - The Life Aquatic was not very good, despite its cult twee following and my own love of most things Wes Anderson. I left the theater disappointed and rewatched the dvd over the years hoping for a revelation. But nope. Meh.
Feb 09, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Just took a look at my total riding mileage since I started using a recording bike computer 20 years ago.
I'm at 199,707 miles. don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing.
Feb 09, 2025 at 01:47 AM
GO RIDE 293 MILES RIGHT NOW!!!mugwump said:Just took a look at my total riding mileage since I started using a recording bike computer 20 years ago.I'm at 199,707 miles. don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing.
Feb 10, 2025 at 02:05 PM
Feb 10, 2025 at 02:06 PM
But seriously, JP is this including indoor miles? Because I kinda want to be there when you hit the 200mi mark.Jules said:GO RIDE 293 MILES RIGHT NOW!!!mugwump said:Just took a look at my total riding mileage since I started using a recording bike computer 20 years ago.I'm at 199,707 miles. don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing.
Feb 10, 2025 at 04:27 PM
Lost my POC sunglasses at the weekend and was thinking of getting some prescription (cycling) ones. I typically wear contacts + regular sunnies. Has anyone tried prescription ones and are they any good? Any recommendations?
Feb 11, 2025 at 02:23 AM
@David YangDavid Yang said:But seriously, JP is this including indoor miles? Because I kinda want to be there when you hit the 200mi mark.Jules said:GO RIDE 293 MILES RIGHT NOW!!!mugwump said:Just took a look at my total riding mileage since I started using a recording bike computer 20 years ago.I'm at 199,707 miles. don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing.
It includes indoor miles. It includes some, but not all bike commuting.
This and next week are likely low mile weeks. This week because of the precip and next because of winter break. I'll keep you posted.
Feb 21, 2025 at 04:01 PM
Greetings Y'All,
It's been a while and unfortunately I am not writing this with good news.
It's been a while and unfortunately I am not writing this with good news.
I figure I'd explain a bit of what has happened to me and where things might be going.
Over the past year or so I've been working towards moving into Brooklyn, closer to Amy. We've talked about moving in together and marriage. I've been saving, paying off some debt, etc...
Then on November 11th, everything changed.
A bit of background. Amy, my partner, has two kids, currently 14 and 17.5. She divorced her ex husband around 10 years ago, separated longer. However she's been in his company for over 20 years.
He is not a nice person. Actually he's toxic and a narcissist. Due to economics and him taking Amy to court several times over child custody, she's had to live in the same living space as her ex, with the kids. This enabled him to keep abusing (and doctors have labeled it domestic abuse/violence - even though for what I know he never got physical just emotional) her and the kids. He's still angry to this day that she divorced him, and is trying to hurt her in anyway he can without crossing into illegal territory. He uses the kids to get back at her. There are some theories that his point is to push her over the edge so she'll kill her self. She has clinical depression which runs in her family.
One thing her ex had going was a 50/50 custody with the kids, even while living in the same apartment as Amy. On "his days" he would tell Amy she wasn't allowed to interact with the kids and she could only stay in her room upstairs. Suffice to say he would not cook, help kids with homework, and all the stuff a parent should be doing, instead he used that as a way to control her. If she went to the kitchen to cook for the kids he would yell and threaten to take her to court. On many occasions, the kids would call her on "his days" and ask her for deli money so they would not starve.
One thing her ex had going was a 50/50 custody with the kids, even while living in the same apartment as Amy. On "his days" he would tell Amy she wasn't allowed to interact with the kids and she could only stay in her room upstairs. Suffice to say he would not cook, help kids with homework, and all the stuff a parent should be doing, instead he used that as a way to control her. If she went to the kitchen to cook for the kids he would yell and threaten to take her to court. On many occasions, the kids would call her on "his days" and ask her for deli money so they would not starve.
On November 11, on "his day" he came home drunk and she was in the kitchen trying to cook for her kids. Things got ugly, apparently the young one slammed the door in his face, and then he threatened to take her to court. I do not have all the details but I know it was a very heated and emotional event.
For Amy being taken to court is a threat since he's done that in the past and she never faired well since he knows how to play the legal game. Heck he keeps watching court videos on his phone...
The next morning she went to court and tried to get him removed from the house, which I'm sure most of you know unless you are raping, beating, or cutting up bodies it never happens. But the Judge said come back with a lawyer and issued an order of protection for Amy and the kids. She was terrified of when he would get served and said she needed to get out and the kids were asking for a change as they could not deal with the toxic house environment anymore. Amy got a lawyer and the lawyer said to move out.
I suggested we move up my move in date and that we get a place big enough for the kids, Amy, and myself. She agreed, and we looked at a place around the corner so if the kids had to go back and fourth, it would be easy.
As we signed the lease, Amy's depression got worse. She was already depressed that fall. A lot more was added to her plate. The young one started Brooklyn Tech and needed extra help with homework and tutoring. We moved Amy and the kids stuff in on December 26th. Her depression kept getting worse. The kids moved in and Amy still wasn't getting any better.
Among the stressors, was our relationship change, aka Amy and I moving in and the kids having a new adult in the house. I know her kids, I've been on vacation with them, given them rides to places, helped pay for dental, food and other stuff, but I told Amy that I din't have to move and I can stay on LI and spend a few days in the City with her so she'd have her time and space with the kids.
By January 20th she hadn't slept in 4 days. The anti-depressants were slow to kick in (takes 6-8 weeks) and she started talking self harm. That evening I drove her to NY Presbyterian Cornell to have her admitted to the psych ward.
She spent three weeks there. During that time her ex moved up a court date to get sole temporary custody of the kids while she was in the hospital, something that would have been implied as one parent wasn't available, but he wanted to drive the knife in. He also threatened me if I even looked at the kids with the police. I have that text saved...
I spent those three weeks going into the city and seeing Amy as much as I could. She was released on February 7th. Even though she's better, she is still not fully engaged back in life. She's still depressed and still blaming everyone, including me, for the pain she has endured. She can't figure out how to move forward and feels numb and doesn't know what to do.
Every professional I have talked to said she is definitely experience a clear case of Domestic Violence, and it could take years to get over, or possibly never. The oldest kid is doing okay, they got accepted to University of Galway in Ireland (kids have Irish background from the dad and are working on getting an Irish passport.) The youngest is struggling with their relationship with Amy and currently failing Brooklyn Tech.
The good news is that the kids got to see their court appointed lawyer, and the lawyer said the kids do not HAVE to spend time with the dad. By the decree of the custody arrangement, Amy has to tell they kids that they do have to go to the dad, but they can disobey and there is not thing the dad, the police, or the courts can do. Also the judge appointed is a big proponent of listening to the kids and what their wishes are.
On March 21 Amy has to go to court in person and prove she's okay to parent. Then in June (after the oldest turns 18) there is the final court date to deal with the custody. Again I think what the kids want will dictate the outcome, and I think the dad will not get what he wants. But who knows...
In the meantime I'm spending time back and forth, but with things the way they are, and trying to float the new apparent. I have decided to take on a second job in March in order to pay down the new debt incurred with the move and the fact that Amy is not fully functional, and I'm spending keeping her and the kids fed, and taken care of. This means an extra 20-30 hours a week working for a year or more.
The parents are throwing money away on lawyers, Amy did reach out to her ex and asked if they could settle out of court and he completely refused. I want the oldest to go to college away from her dad and possibly mom. Which means I also have to come up with some money. Now I know people will say go to a CUNY/SUNY, and I will reply that the Ireland college is roughly the same price. The kid has been there and loved it, and I think it would be the best for her to get far away from the parents and be able to find herself somewhere where it's more peaceful and not NY/NYC crazy. She has been abused all her life from the father. She's already feeling better in the new apartment not seeing her dad.
At this point my riding is all but over for the foreseeable future. I do not know where my relationship with Amy is headed. I still love her and always will. I start therapy on Tuesday hopefully it will help me cope with all that is happened. I feel I tried to do the right thing and got hammered in the process, and being the focal point of Amy's blame is hurting me a lot. I have lost my desire to do things I loved doing, including riding.
Anyway, I hope you all understand what my situation is, and see why I've almost completely disappeared from life...
-Andrew
Feb 21, 2025 at 05:57 PM
Andrew, I'm so sorry to hear, that's a lot to deal with and I'm glad you're both seeking and getting help. Take care of yourself my friend. Life comes first, but we'll be here to give you a wheel whenever you need to take a breather.
Feb 21, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Wow Andrew that sounds super rough. A proper "casino" as they say. You sound clear headed about it, which is good. The bikes (and the club) will always there when you emerge on the other side.
Feb 22, 2025 at 03:02 AM
That's rough from all sides. I'm sorry you and Amy are having to go through all that. To echo Jules, Kissena will always be here.
Don't forget to show yourself the same compassion you show others.
Don't forget to show yourself the same compassion you show others.
Feb 22, 2025 at 08:56 PM
Truly difficult, Andrew, it all sounds so rough. I am sorry you, Amy, and her kids have to go thru all that. I wish you all the best.
Just in case, if you ever want to text, chat on the phone, go for a walk, grab a beer, ride a loop of the park or any support that might help, here's my number: 347.225.1058
Just in case, if you ever want to text, chat on the phone, go for a walk, grab a beer, ride a loop of the park or any support that might help, here's my number: 347.225.1058
Feb 24, 2025 at 03:23 AM
Closing in on 200,000 miles
If I take out running and hiking and walking (only when I walk specifically to walk and do at least three miles) and skiing.
If I take out indoor miles as well.
If I take out running and hiking and walking (only when I walk specifically to walk and do at least three miles) and skiing.
If I take out indoor miles as well.
Feb 27, 2025 at 01:12 AM
According to WKO+, I cracked 200,000 miles today. That was starting in January, 2005.
Take out my hiking, walking, running, skiing miles, and I'll crack 200,000k in a few months.
Take out my hiking, walking, running, skiing miles, and I'll crack 200,000k in a few months.
Feb 27, 2025 at 04:30 AM
Sounds like you should have or do something special to celebrate.
Apr 01, 2025 at 12:25 AM
JP where are we on the bike mileage count? We need updates!
Apr 01, 2025 at 12:55 AM
I'll go first.
First "real" rest week I've need in a long while.
First "real" rest week I've need in a long while.
Apr 01, 2025 at 01:34 PM
For all bike riding, about 1500 mi. for outdoor bike riding, about 4,000miDavid Yang said:JP where are we on the bike mileage count? We need updates!
Apr 01, 2025 at 04:14 PM
So essentially you're going to hit 200k (for all bike riding) in maybe a month?
Apr 01, 2025 at 04:49 PM
Between 45 and 60 days would be my guess.David Yang said:So essentially you're going to hit 200k (for all bike riding) in maybe a month?
Apr 01, 2025 at 05:26 PM
Seriously let's make a ride and event out of it!
Apr 01, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Bikereg having a little fun on April 1st.
Apr 02, 2025 at 02:44 AM
TROGDOR!!!!!!!!!
Apr 02, 2025 at 09:56 PM
Trogdor is going to live in my head rent free for at least the next 2 weeks
Apr 02, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Apr 04, 2025 at 03:06 PM
I'm new to strava , but whats with these requests to follow from random asian girls , that are clearly AI images ?
Apr 04, 2025 at 03:43 PM
I'm guessing spam, I used to get some of those but they stopped.Mark Taylor said:I'm new to strava , but whats with these requests to follow from random asian girls , that are clearly AI images ?
Apr 05, 2025 at 05:22 AM
LBS's are going to get smoked with the new tariffs.
May 02, 2025 at 05:49 PM
FYI, going through a red light on a bike is now a criminal offense.
"The NYPD has changed its enforcement policy towards bicyclists, slapping them with criminal summonses instead of regular traffic tickets for low-level offenses such as passing through red lights or not stopping at a stop sign..."