Kissena Forum Archive

Jan 29, 2014 at 01:44 AM

I love how this section gets ignored for 12 months in a row.

But I'm here to tell ya IT"S THAT TIME AGAIN.

Yes indeed while the overweight pussies strap on all their protective gear and run into each other so that a lousy 100 million viewers can be subjected to new and sometimes post stupid commercials, I will once again lead the imfamous SuperDuperBirthdayBowl ride out to Bear Mountain making sure to take every last steep road and shitty pavement section I can find along the way. Oh, and it will probably be cold as hell, even icy perhaps! New York Grand Fondo can suck it. I laid out this route years before those guys ever pissed on the side of the road with the help of longtime pathfinder JP Partland and few other brave souls that experinced the innaugural ride back in...shit I forgot! I think it was 8 years ago. But who cares?
That said here are the specs:

8am at GWB Jersey side. Attendees have until 8:10 to present their birthday gifts to, well, me of course since this whole thing began that way. See I used to do 200km alone on my B-day every year until I got the brillinat idea to include some victims guests in on the fun and excitement. Then The Nerf League pushed back the Stupid Bowl to February and our little ride coincided with that little shin dig, and well, the name just became complicated.
And now they added CX Worlds! Watch it on replay folks!

Okay, sarc off. Here is the deal. This is hard. There will be non Kissena guys and they pretty much all are monsters. The pace can be difficult. The Hills WILL BE difficult. I give out KOM prizes sometimes. There are sprint prizes sometimes. And we race Bear Mountain from bottom to top provided there ain't ice. If you haven't done a century this might not be the best first time for you. There are, however THREE points at which people turn back the last being the Apple Orchard in Conklin. There is usually a group that cuts back there. Some folks turn back at Sparkill, whatever. The long version might mean 120-130 miles for somr Brooklyners. That is an 8 hr commitment. Plan accordingly. Be realistic.
Have TWO (2) tubes and the goods to inflate a tire. FOOD. $20 and give your ride a once over. Mechanicals are a major party foul. Fenders are considerate if it's messy but NOT required. Dress accordingly. We stop at the tops of climbs to regroup, but only have one scheduled feed stop ad that's at The Cove Deli in Tompkins Cove AND THAT'S AFTER BEAR MTN. If you want to know the GENERAL route the NY Grand Fondo is similar.
If or some reason any of this changes like weather, start time, etc. I will post it here on Saturday. It could be late since I work late Sat night. But other than start time going a tad later if the invitees bitch and moan (that should be interpreted as one Dan Chabanov) then I MIGHT push it back. But I MUST be home in time to get my shit together and get to work in the early evening so my co-worker can go home and watch football.

There that should just about sum it up.

Questions? Email me. kpsartless@gmail.com

Jan 29, 2014 at 03:39 AM

I expect to be there.

In years past, part of the fun was the vacuuming up of any and all crumbs during the internationally-televised thugfest that goes on between expensive commercials.

Jules

Jan 29, 2014 at 03:42 AM

One of these years I'll be in good enough shape to do this ride. Le Sigh. Y'all bring back wikahd cool photos, yeah?

Jan 29, 2014 at 03:45 AM

No excuse not to show up for this ride. You can always "turn back at Sparkill, whatever". It is one of the official options. An unofficial option which I will take and highly recommend, is the A train to 175th St. According to JP, it runs on a schedule.

Jan 29, 2014 at 04:19 AM

I'm tempted

Jeffrey White

Jan 29, 2014 at 04:43 AM

I'll roll and turn back at Sparkill, whatever. Which is basically pointless to say, since Keith won't be back on here for a year. Maybe we should surprise Keith in 2015 by talking trash all year long in this thread.

Erika Tarte

Jan 29, 2014 at 04:47 AM

Down for Sparkill, whatever. BB meet-up at 7am?

Jan 29, 2014 at 06:32 AM

No one is

Marc Bertucco

Jan 29, 2014 at 01:18 PM

RUh-oh...did anyone else notice that Keith's latest response was "via Email." I'm probably the least tech savvy on the club, but...

I think we have to stop talking trash about Keith now...

First Myles, now Keith...what is this world coming too?!

David Yang

Jan 29, 2014 at 03:20 PM

7a @ BB? I'll attempt it, but definitely turning around early because weakling reasons.

twoyacks

Jan 29, 2014 at 11:57 PM

Best of luck brothers. I will be googling stages vs power2max power meters all day and drinking whiskey & rye singing this will be the day that I die...wait what?

image.jpg

Jan 30, 2014 at 05:57 PM

Tempted? Tempted!
It's gonna be 49F for fucks sake. That's down right BALMY!

You people have no excuses now!

Brendan Rigby

Jan 30, 2014 at 09:17 PM

Your warnings were too effective. I'm overwhelmed with self-doubt.

Jan 31, 2014 at 02:18 AM

This is also good training for the Training Camp.

Erika Tarte

Jan 31, 2014 at 01:16 PM

@Arron you've been a beast out there in the cold!

Through much mental & physical anguish, I've accepted the fact that my fingers are both very sensitive and pretty important (job, bike money, not to mention shifting) and now find myself in a trainer spiral of fitness doubt (so few miles, no climbing, my legs are noodles but does that mean I've been training too hard or not hard enough???) so we'll see how I hold up this weekend. Friday active recovery, Saturday openers, Sunday hammerfest!

Craig London

Jan 31, 2014 at 03:25 PM

So pumped for this ride. See you at GWB Sunday at 8am.

Wes Tillman

Jan 31, 2014 at 09:35 PM

I might go to boost my Klout™ score

Feb 01, 2014 at 02:26 PM

Ok I'm doing this.

Feb 01, 2014 at 02:39 PM

Mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

On 2/1/14 9:26 AM, "Ryan J"

Jeff Owens

Feb 01, 2014 at 04:44 PM

If I come, can I just wait at the bottom of Bear for when you guys come back and tell everyone I went up it?

Feb 01, 2014 at 05:48 PM

tell 'em you took the steeper back way and descended a trail.

Feb 01, 2014 at 07:46 PM

Jeff Owens said:

If I come, can I just wait at the bottom of Bear for when you guys come back and tell everyone I went up it?

That's pretty much what I did last time and may do it again this year depending on how I feel at that point. You could always ride down to Cove Deli and reserve a table.

Feb 02, 2014 at 10:25 PM

Great day on the bike.

Kissenas: Keith, Stokes, Yang, Ryan, Brendan, Aaron, Erika (the first femme to make the trip), me

Ex-Kissenas: Neil Bezdek, Dan Chabanov

Non: Evan Murphy, Tony Hall

Pro: Gavi Epstein

We took the low road to 303,then moved over to Blauvelt and Strawtown road. Followed South Mtn to the Orchard, then took a new route to Gate Hill. From there down to Kawanauke circle, seven lakes to Route 6, to Bear. Stopped the climb with about a kilometer or more remaining: snow across the road. Back to the Cove Deli, where sandwiches were popular.

We finally watched the folks in Haverstraw have their polar bear moment and jump in the Hudson. Interestingly, there were guys in drysuits already in the water. Then through Haverstraw to 9W to Nyack, down to broadway, and into Piermont, where we got all sideways because Gavi was pulled over for riding double file--he got the ticket, he was probably going to get it anyway, but it did try to explain he wasn't riding double (he wasn't: not that it matters). I hung at the Sparkill turn while most went ahead. Keith and Ryan waited with Gavi and the four of us rode home.

Saw a few deer in Harriman. Saw people ice fishing and strolling on the lakes. Got buzzed by a cop for unknown reason. Finished in a light drizzle. Chabanov took pictures.

Loved it. Finished with about 104mi (turned my Garmin off right before hitting gate hill and didn't figure it out until after; pretty bummed). Ride will be strava'd.

Happy almost birthday Keith.

Feb 02, 2014 at 10:36 PM

BTW, did I mention there was ice in the hudson within 100 feet of these guys, probably less. But it was a cove, so I guess a bit warmer.

David Yang

Feb 02, 2014 at 10:38 PM

Hard, fun ride today with a mix of Kissenas, Foundation, and Champ Sys. Weather was great, but flying down the other side of the mountain was cooooold. Happened to come across the annual Haverstraw polar bear club on the way back and watched them jump into some icy water. Adventure! Also the deli stop was amazing. There's nothing better than real food after chowing down on Clif bars and goop for 5 hours.

Thanks to Kieth for pacing and advice. Tried to ride at a tempo where I knew I could make it home and not be completely incapacitated for the rest of the day.

Not sure what happened at Piermont but the group split. Ended up riding down 9W with Rigby, Erika, Blum, and Stokes who I didn't realize got dropped sometime way after the state line, I was so focused on getting home. Really sorry about that.

Door to door it was about 130 miles. Good times.

Feb 02, 2014 at 10:47 PM

~15 people showed up this morning at 8 at the GWB. I can't name everyone, but Neil and Chabs +1 from Foundation, Gavi and Tony +1 from Champ Sys, JP, Ryan, Yang, Aaron, Erika, Brendan, of course Keith and probably a couple of others I forgot.

We took the low road north past the reservoirs to the Orchards, where the store was locked up tight. Then the grind up Gate Hill to the frozen lakes along 7 Lakes Drive, where ice fisherman were cavorting. The pace wsa controlled nicely as we neared the traffic circle at the top of the Palisades Pkwy. Perkins was gated, but most of the group headed up and Ryan mixed it up with the big boys until the road became covered with snow and ice. Down into a pocket of freezing air on 9W next to the river and a feast at Cove Deli.

After lunch we took the scenic route through Haverstraw, which passes an Irish bar right near the river. We arrived just in time to see a parade and festive gathering of town's folk to witness the brave locals jump into the icy river and splash around. It was hilarious. This gave us a little extra time to digest our sandwiches.

Now we just needed to get home. 9W all the way. Rockland Lake climb was the beginning of the end for me. Apparently, people were stopped by cops in Piermont, though several of us had splintered to get a head start on the climb through Tallman and didn't look back. This splintered the group. State line hill was the hardest it has ever been for me. Could not even do temp up that false flat. Forget about standing up. Erika, Yang, Aaron motored away and I settled into a sustainable pace. Eventually, the Foundation guys came by me and I finished with the at Strictly. Waited for a while at the GWB hoping to see the scoff laws, but then decided I needed to keep moving my legs, which were more or less numb as long as the gradient stayed below 0.5%.

1.5 clif bars, 2 packages of clif bloks. 2 bottles of accelerade + one of water. 3/4 egg/cheese/ham sandwich on a roll and a can of coke. I'm actually not that hungry and fully hydrated. No bonk, just dead legs.

Now that I've iced my knees and taken a brief nap and will try to make my way across the street for some recover drink (4 letters starting with 'B'). My legs have become incredibly stiff. Good thing there are no stairs.

Happy Birthday Keith. He said he could race the 45+ field now!

Feb 02, 2014 at 11:08 PM

It was tough. I have to say I was really impressed with how all the Kissenas rode, but particularly Brendan and Aaron. Those guys sat in the group with Dan, Evan, Tony, Gavi, and more and stayed right there the whole time.

And JP as usual just seems to be able to ride high tempo in the wind forever. He looked super strong today.

The Polar Plunge in Haverstraw was amazing, replete with, for some reason, emphatic shows of gratitude to "the troops" and manic chants of "USA! USA!"